SMS Classics Cliffs Notes

Stoo-pid.

Guardian Unlimited Books | News | If you don’t want to know how Bleak House ends, look away now:

Some of the most complicated and wordy works of English literature are being compressed into the jerky speedwriting of text messages, to help students choose classics and master their revision…

Classics compressed (and what they actually mean)

Romeo and Juliet

FeudTween2hses–Montague& Capulet. RomeoM falls_<3w/_ JulietC@mary Secretly Bt R kils J's Coz&isbanishd. J fakes Death. As Part of Plan2b-w/R Bt_leter Bt It Nvr Reachs Him. Evry1confuzd--- bothLuvrs kil Emselves.

Translation A feud between two houses - Montague and Capulet. Romeo Montague falls in love with Juliet Capulet and they marry secretly, but Romeo kills Juliet’s cousin and is banished. Juliet fakes her own death. As part of the plan to be with Romeo she writes him a letter but it never reaches him. Everyone is confused and both lovers kills themselves.

Pride and Prejudice

5SistrsWntngHsbnds.NwMenIn Twn-Bingly&Darcy Fit&Loadd. BigSisJaneFals4B,2ndSisLizH8s DCozHesProud.SlimySoljrWikam SysDHsShadyPast.TrnsOutHes ActulyARlyNysGuy&RlyFancysLiz.SheDecydsSheLyksHim.Evry1GtsMaryd.

Five sisters wanting husbands. There are two new men in town - Bingley and Darcy. They are handsome and wealthy. Big sister Jane falls for Bingley, but second sister Elizabeth hates Darcy because he is proud. Slimy soldier Wickham says Darcy has a shady past. It turns out that he’s actually a really nice guy and really fancies Elizabeth. She decides that she likes him. Everyone gets married.

Bleak House

EstherBecumsWardOfJarndyce WhosInCortCase.OvaWardsRich&Ada (L8aACuple).Tulkinghorn-nosyLawyer-WorksOutLadyDedlock= E’sMum.CaseEnds w/ no1 gtn money. E marrysSexyDoc-Liv 2geva InBleakHse.Rich&L.DedlockDie.

Esther becomes the ward of Jarndyce, who is involved in a court case about Richard and Ada (who are later a couple). Tulkinghorn - a nosy lawyer - works out that Lady Dedlock is Esther’s mother. The case is concluded with no one receiving any money. Esther marries the sexy doctor and they live together in Bleak House. Richard and Lady Dedlock die

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