Hilarious outtake from the Motley Fool:
Breaking Up With Google Is Hard [Fool.com: Motley Fool Take] October 14, 2005: “So where does Comcast fit into all this? Good question. You can almost sense the negotiations going down a little something like this, re-enacted by the San Dimas High drama club:
Microsoft: Oooh, baby. I can’t wait to hold you and those delicious eyeballs, my sweet AOL.
AOL: Not so fast, Mr. Softy. I haven’t broken up with Google just yet.
Google (knocking): Open up, AOL. I know you’re there.
AOL (opening door): Man, this is like totally awkward.
Google: Don’t leave me, sugar.
AOL: Well? Hey! Who brought that Comcast kid here?
Google: Don’t worry, darling. He’s cool. He’s with me.
AOL: Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t leave you?
Google: Haven’t I been good to you, cupcake?
AOL: Yes, but –
Google: Microsoft’s a stranger, pookie. He’s inexperienced. You don’t know what you’re going to get if you run off with him. You know that, don’t you?
AOL: Yes, but my parent wants me out of the house.
Google: TW wants you out, but think about the clicks. We had something great, doll.
Microsoft (coughs): Ahem, AOL? Will you marry me?
Google: Comcast? The ring please?
No. Comcast isn’t just the ring boy. It’s also a content and marketing titan. One would also think that Comcast wouldn’t mind converting the 20 million AOL dial-up subscribers to its broadband connections, though apparently America Online’s flagship service itself is not part of the deal.
That’s why Comcast may be an odd wingman for Google, especially with Google looking to devalue Comcast’s broadband business by proposing to blanket pockets of the country with free ad-supported Wi-Fi access.”
My take on Google’s “sotto voce” to AOL:
We want you and your customers, even though we think you and they are obsolete dinosaurs.
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